Young Old Gets Grouchy / First Bath

Things had been going so well, but apparently, the only constant in parenting is the fact that things change on a near-constant basis.

We didn't sleep a wink last night, grumbling through a nightmare of screams, frantic milk-gulping and shit-leaked diapers. We finally said "Fuck it" around noon:thirty, and dragged ourselves out of bed in order to make it to another doctor's appointment. Young Old has been grumpy, irritated, and ravenously hungry, feeding every hour or so. Thanks for being a wonderfully efficient laxative, Mr. Milk! Because of you, we got to change drippy poop bags every 30 minutes today! The Boy hasn't been sleeping well. In fact, we've abstained from taking any photos today in fear of waking the Breast Buddy with the flash or the noise of the shutter.

On top of all this, his diapers are completely faulty, certainly in need of a recall. I thought that, while waiting for our cloth diaper service to kick in, I'd stick it to The Man, and not support Huggies for once, opting instead for the Mom To Mom: Sharing Wisdom brand. Big mistake. The company should be renamed to Child to Parents: Sharing Fluids. They don't even hold a single serving of pee, and definitely don't deliver in the doodoo department. On the front of the package, they proudly display a satisfied (and likely fabricated) consumer's testimonial. It states: "My baby stays dry and comfy--and they're so soft." Fuck you. My son has a diaper rash thanks to your soft, comfy, dryness. I know, you're all probably tired of my frequent mentions of excrement and urine, but get over it, this is our life right now and Young Old will be forced to look at these annals in the future in order to prove how much we love him and his incontinent nether-regions.

So we did some reading, and it turns out that at this point in the developmental cycle, Young Old is apparently going through some sort of a growth spurt. Spurt is right. All these things we're going through with him are natural, but goddamn we're tired. Supposedly this "Spurt" will last 4-5 days, at which point we'll likely be reduced to burned-out husks of our former selves. An early bedtime is indeed called for. Let's say 7pm.

Well, good night.

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In honor of happier days, here are a few adorable photos of Young Old's first bath.