Y2-D2

The constant exposure to advanced technology has certainly changed the way young brains develop. Young Old has long since graduated from updating his Facebook page and Tweeting his recent bowel activity; his latest hobby is coding the latest Droid applications, substantially lessening the financial hit to our budget from my decision to be a stay-at-home. Before turning two, I've vague recollections of struggling to keep my clothes on and my vomit in my mouth, never mind mastering mouse-scrolling and the unlocking of cell phones:

Young Handyman

Young Old recently helped me construct several raised garden beds. Here's the master craftsman at work:

Familial Visit

[Damn near forgot about updating this blog. The Boy is insanely busy right now. 100% required interaction during his waking moments, and his nap times have become my nap times. Doesn't leave much time for writing...-Ed.]

Nana, Sir Bruce, and Uncle Briguy came to The Stump a few months back. Here are a few of the highlights:

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The Motley Crue, sans umlauts:

Young Old, The Movie v.40

[We've been very busy this month, people. Here's a little somethin' somethin' to tide you over until I get back on track next week. Also, a heads up...this blog will be coming to an end sometime around Young Old's second life anniversary near the end of August. More on that later. -Ed.]

Young Old, The Movie v.39

You have to respect the innovation.
The keytar at work.

I'm Tired So You Get Pictures, Vol. 40

Young Brando. [Thanks for not punching my face in, Mr. Biker. -Ed.]

Face snuggles with Auntie Ren-Ren.

He insisted on keeping his water bottle cold with my favorite koozie. Go 'Merica.

Shake those money makers, son.


Doctor J schoolin' Uncle J in some one-on-one.

Tut-tut, Young Robin.

The Young One and his pal Dixon "smiling" for the camera. Well done, gents.

Our boy rode this firetruck around for three days straight, refused to walk, shouting wee-ouuu wee-ouuu in an upper register scream the entire time. The joke's on us, Grandma Alaska.

Potty Time! Excellent!

It's funny, these milestones we choose to place upon pedestals.

Take baby's first real shit.

Well, folks, the moment is here, the plane has arrived.

Drum-roll please...
Nice shot, my man. You've officially graduated from "Wipe my Ass, Daddy" Academy and are now ready for the University of "Wipe your Own Ass."

One of many test runs:

I'm so proud of you, Young Old. More than you'll ever remember...

Roll Call

I've got mixed feelings about this. While Big Boy (or Big Boi for those familiar with my musical leanings) is a wonderful nickname, and a self-endowed one at that, I'm still holding out in my heart that he'll adopt Young Old as his own. Time will tell...

Young Old, The Movie v.38

Coach T schooling Doctor J in the basics:

I'm Tired So You Get Pictures, Vol. 39

A pensive Young Old, waxing philosophical at the local playground. When bringing up the aretaic turn to his fellow 'groundlings, they've taken to tossing bark chunks at him. Get used to it, son; we're surrounded by idiots.

The album cover to Young Old's first rap album, appearing in stores near you sometime in 2026.

Mama K trying out the whole "two kids" idea. Someone, please get that other kid away from her before she's infected. [Just kidding, Lilly-Goat. We love you. -Ed.]

Modeling for The Thinker. Little known fact: Rodin was a time-traveler.

Go 'Blazers. Better luck next year.

Young Old can't hardly wait to attend school. You and me both, buddy.

I've been wrong before, but something is telling me that he's ready for his nap.

Noodles + Book = Best babysitter ever.

Sir Young enjoying a spot of tea with Lord Old. Rice cakes subbing for crumpets.

Lilly-Goat and Young Old getting so fresh and so clean clean.

Young Old, Lunar Cycle No. 21

Our little Womb-bat at twenty-one months:

Young Old, Lunar Cycle No. 20

Young Buckethead at twenty moons:

Whoa, I Know Kung-Fu

Whether this is precious behavior or bad parenting is your call, but we sure had a blast recreating scenes from Shaolin and Wu-Tang.

Daddy Raps-A-Lot

This is just embarrassing on so many levels, but needed to be shared, if not only to highlight the difficulty of listening to my favorite genre of music when in the company of my dear son. Thank goodness for Pandora.com; we've been working extremely hard on our "Young Old Friendly" radio station. Sorry, Dre Dog, you will not be making an appearance in the rotation for at least another few years.

Grindin'

Making a pot of coffee with Young Old is easily my favorite part of our morning ritual. He's almost got the entire process down; the french press is up next. And no worries, Mama K...he refuses to drink the stuff, no matter how often it's offered.

PCP Playtime

The interaction between Young Old and his toys is often so surreal I sometimes find that I have to pinch myself to confirm that I'm not, in fact, hallucinating images of dwarves awkwardly riding gelatinous ponies.

Young Old, The Movie v.37

Please don't report me to CPS. It's all about new experiences. Thanks.

Young Old, The Movie v.36

A sound only a parent could love, I'm sure.

I'm Tired So You Get Pictures, Vol. 38

Parkour expert Young Old practicing l'art du déplacement.

This dude is a true carbaholic. Anyone know of a 12-step program for bread addiction? Google wasn't much help on this one...

Mama K expressing her love on Valentine's Day, after reading the sweet note that Young Old sent her in the Portland Mercury.

My days are filled with moments like these. Life is good.

The Fam.
Taking a stroll at the Whitaker Ponds near our house. Young Old giggled the whole time with delight at all noisy avian residents. Quack, honk, chirp, laugh. Repeat.


Playing a game of Spot the Three-Eyed Fish in the toxic sludge that is the Columbia Slough.

Well, Young Old's got the whole walking stick thing down. It's amazing what he picks up from his very brief observations. Picking his nose and flipping off cops, though...not so amazing.

Show us yer meth teeth, Young Trailer Park Boy.

Young Che gearing up for the revolution.

Young Old the Biker

GrandPops recently gifted to Young Old his first bicycle (well, technically it's a quadricycle). They had a great time taking it out for a spin:



Save his time sleeping, Young Old rarely parted from this red beauty for the better part of two weeks.
Exhibit A:
Thanks for the thoughtful gift!

I'm Tired So You Get Pictures, Vol. 37

I think this is a competitive sport somewhere in Arkansas. Anyway, Young Old's pretty good at it.

Young Country getting his twang on. [For the record, we don't listen to country music and neither should you. -Ed.]

The Boy must have inherited my genetic proclivity towards neatness, as lately he's been obsessed with wiping down every surface in the house. Good thing, too, because since he's come into the picture, we haven't properly cleaned the house a single time.

See what I mean? Adorable or OCD? I guess we'll find out. By the way, he insisted on his sleeves being rolled up. Amazing what they pick up from simple observation.

I came into the bedroom one day after hearing Young Old wake up from his morning nap, to find him laughing hysterically at having put this hat on all by himself. It was pretty funny, though I'd imagine you had to be there.

Communing with his [1/64 Cherokee, at this point, I think. -Ed.] ancestors up at Pork & Mike's Country House. Bang them yams, one.

"Yet another escape foiled by that damn waist strap. Sheeee-oooot." And don't knock the "pants tucked into the socks"-look Young Old has going on. Only parents will understand.

This picture is awesome in so many ways as to be mostly indescribable.

A very sick Mama K and Young Old...

...equals a very sick Papa Old and the continuing sickness of Young Old. Nasty flu insectoid knocked us out of commission for damn-near an entire week. There's nothing quite like the personal hell of three family members performing simultaneous projectile vomiting. We had to shit our drawers in shifts, it got so bad. Yuck, is right.