May 29, 2009

Aunt T Photo Dump No.4

Wrapping it up, B.


"Ack. What is this warm, blue, dry substance coating the sky?" Thus the Portlanders emerge from their wintry hibernation. While the sudden emergence of sun is a bit of a cancer-shock to the skin system, it does tend to lessen the amount of mold growing in unwanted places, such as Young Old's diaper region. Three cheers for that.

Young Old touching grass for the first time up on Rocky Butte, an ancient volcanic formation overlooking the world as he knows it. He was transfixed in this position for almost an hour, just running his tiny digits through the cool, lush blades.

Bonanna getting in on some of that grass-petting action.

" what happened to the grass?"

"Yes, that's more like it. Less hugs, more grass, people."

Grandpa Alaska took Young Old to the local library, then introduced him to the wonders of coffee as a treat for being so good. Three weeks later, and we're still trying to bring him down from his caffeine high.

Recently, I began taking Young Old to "Book Babies," a regular story-time activity at the library where The Boy can interact with his peers, slobber on communal toys (hope that immune system is working out for you, bud), and read age-appropriate baby books..."Ahhh, Dad, but I don't want to read 'The Overcoat' one more time. How 'bout something with nonsensical rhyming and pictures of vacantly staring children?"

They swooped onto the toy pile like vultures impatiently awaiting their turn at the roadkill all-you-can-eat buffet.

May 27, 2009

Aunt T Photo Dump No.3

On with the show...


"Hmmmm, let's see...if I yank here, I get a hug. Oooohhh, I like this trick."

Young Old grubbing on a slice of pear. It's been a lot of fun introducing new foods to the little feeder. By the way, pal, I'm truly sorry for the outfit; Mama K must have dressed you up in this one. She's a sucker for "matching outfits," despite my protestations that boys neither "match," nor wear "outfits."

"Thanks for not caring that your flash is triggering my epilepsy, Papa Old." Geez, I was just trying to scare Rachel a bit, young bud.

Aunt T, boring the babe as usual. When we can't get the little guy down for a nap, we just call up his auntie, and within minutes, it's nothing but crib REM.

Just kidding, sis...he really does love you.

"Look, Ma, no hands!"

"Whaddayou say, PapaRazzi, enough pictures for the day? That's what I thought."

Baby Khan, casting a Tengri hex upon all those who oppose him.

May 25, 2009

Aunt T Photo Dump No.2

Onward ho.


Young Old just absolutely adores his Aunt T. Note the jury-rigged vomit mop, patent pending.

"Take me home, Guido."

Apologies to all if my sugary love for my family touches upon your gag reflex, but these two really do mean the world to me, and constantly fill my life with the stuff of light and laughter (i.e. unicorns, prancing elves, and Charleston Chews).

"Hi Loretta, let's see how well your hat fits in my gaping maw of sludgy saliva!"

Young Old, proud member of the Comb Over Clique.

Teaching Young Old about the insignificance of humanity in the shadow of nature.

Taking after his father, The Boy was much too enthralled with fire to show interest in anything else around him, including the ravenous band of murdering raccoons that harried our asses the entire camping trip.

Baby Khan is not impressed with the placement of our yurt, preferring a more desolate, steppe-like setting. Mama K's checking on my right breast's milk levels...we like to alternate feedings now that I'm producing.

Victims of the current foreclosure crisis, we've recently been forced to downgrade to more humble digs. Good thing Young Old is up-to-date on his tetanus vaccinations.

May 24, 2009

Aunt T Photo Dump No.1

Just nabbed a few hundred photos of the little hobgremlin from his Aunt T's flick shooter. This post, and the three to follow, present what I consider to be the "cream of the cream."


Most parents take their child to the park to let them run wild and work out some energy in the hopes of a lengthier than usual afternoon nap. Myself, I prefer to dig a hole in which to bury my son up to his chest in, so that I can safely take a little siesta of my own.

Young Old, truly excited about his upcoming audition for the part of Elrond, elvish lord of Rivendell, for the new Hobbit films. Honestly, I think the film studio will be overjoyed at the prospect of saving a few bucks on ear prosthetics.

Happy Birthday, Mama K (though, in Young Old's eyes, we were obviously celebrating him..."Wait, what do you mean I can't have any of my own cake?")!

Aunt T and I took Young Old to the Portland Art Museum a few months back, and he absolutely soaked it all up, twitching his eyes rapidly from painting to sculpture to photograph in wondrous delight. Actually, now that I think about it, as we spent a good deal of time in the permanent European collection, he was probably trying to figure out what the deal was with so much titty, but so little milk.

Art overloadZzzzzzzzzz.

Young Old chilling with his Nessa Bug.

Young Old, getting a back rub from his new friend Rachel, displaying an uncanny adeptness at working the system to his advantage.

Nessa Bug, Auntie Annie, and our motley crew fueling up at Stumptown Coffee, hands down the best "Cup O' " connoisseurs in the city. (And, possibly, the world. -Ed.)

Young Old, suffering from a life of anxiety and depression, finally convinced us to put him through psychotherapy and a course of medication. It was money well-spent...just look at the cheerful results:

May 20, 2009

Drivers Ed

Young Old recently took the old man's car out for a spin. I figured, if he's going to steal my car keys in the years ahead, might as well take some of the mystery out of the whole thing, teach him how a clutch works before he strips the gears, and work on his high speed maneuvering so the car (and the boy) come back to us in one piece.

May 19, 2009

I'm Tired So You Get Pictures, Vol. 24

Sorry for the long break, people. Had family in town, and frantically finished up the baby-proofing, as the Young gup is going absolutely insane with his new-found crawling abilities. Here's a lengthier selection of photos than normal to make things up to all you Young Old lovers out there.


I'm all lost in the supermarket, I can no longer shop happily. ~Clash

Young Old's new friend Dixon dishing out the bear hug treatment.

Young Crazy Legs, illin' out in his very first b-boy stance.

In deference to my mother-in-law, I'm no longer allowed to tag these photos with inappropriate, alcohol-related comments. Needless to say, Young Old can seriously put a few back when the shakes really set in.

Getting reacquainted with Grandpa Alaska, after a seriously too-long hiatus. We set up a web cam this weekend in order to better stay in touch, keep the faces fresh, show off his new fart noises, etc.

Young Old is already quite the ladies man, despite the dorky country/prep attire.

He's really excited for the impending emergence of Auntie Denelle's own little mini-midget, mostly so he can teach the little squirmer a thing or two about the proper way to project one's stomach contents, with maximum furniture coverage in mind.

Young Old and Grandpa Alaska relishing their shared love of the printed page. Not to worry David; next time you're around, he'll likely have moved on from fuzzy rabbits and be ready to discuss Brian Greene's The Fabric of the Cosmos.

That impish smile can only mean one thing...Grandpa is probably going to have a permanent butt juice stain on the arm of his shirt.

The Old's rocking their finest NorthWestern wear. (Nerds. -Ed.)

May 15, 2009

The Reason

This is why I do what I do...

...and I wouldn't trade this job for any other.

May 13, 2009

Kickin' it with the Cali Folks

[Sorry if this post doesn't have the usual wit and wordiness. My finger is still busy emulating roadkill, and it hurts like hell to type. -Ed.]

Young Old's Uncle Green got hitched a few weeks ago, and The Boy finally got to meet all my good homies from California. It was a busy busy weekend, but Young Old handled it with the usual aplomb.


Auntie Mara gettin' her snuggle on. Surprising absolutely no one, she kinda loves this kid. In fact, I had to take him out of her luggage when dropping her off at the airport.
Uncle JD2, teaching The Young One the wonders of the High Five. Ooooooh.
At Uncle Green's wedding. Young Old is obviously blinded by my ever-balding pate.
Young Old congratulating the newlyweds with a nice diaper load.
A tired Young Old snuggling up to his Uncle Steve, another experienced dad. Uncle ReidRam is seen here lurking in the background.
Uncle MattyMatt was extremely emvious of Young Old's ride, including the built in boom box (bumping brother Cellski, obviously), and just had to take it for a spin.
Uncle MattyMatt and I walking Young backwards to keep the sun out of his face. We're just nice like that. Uncle ReidRam is, yet again, sludging around in the distance.
Young Old's trying to figure out why Uncle MattyMatt is doing tummy-time. He's sooo beyond that phase.
Post-wedding night celebration napfest for Mama K, Uncle AK, and I. It's taking all of Uncle MattyMatt's willpower to keep awake for his play date with Young Old. One day, he'll appreciate it, bud.

Thanks to Matt and Mara for many of these photos.