A Day in the Life

Wiping up the accumulated nine inches of vomit from the computer desk today, I discovered a stack of damp and moldy notes from well over a month ago, in which I detailed to the minute a day in the life of Young Old and Papa Old, to give folks a little flavor of just what this whole experience is like.

This will likely be completely uninteresting to most of you, but for the OCD, anal-retentive, and borderline autistic crowd, enjoy.

Pictures to follow tomorrow.

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1:50am - Finally able to go to bed.
4:30am - Up for diaper change.
6:30am - Grumbled a goodbye to Mama K on her way out for work.
8:00am - Young Old up, Insta-Scream style. Ran downstairs and warmed up a bottle.
8:10am - Diaper change. Listened to Quasimoto...screaming quelled.
8:15am - Fed Young Old his bottle.
8:17am - Young Old takes massive dump.
8:18am - Massive cleanup. Listened to DJ Honda Mixtape.
8:30am - Resumed feeding. Burped. Vomited. Cleaned up.
8:45am - Young Old asleep. Whew.
8:47am - Jumped in the shower.
9:15am - Began packing up the house for the move.
9:45am - Started making a spot of tea and a crumpet or two.
9:47am - Young Old awake and grunting.
9:50am - Sat Young Old in his baby bouncy bubble music chair.
10:00am - Young Old back pacified with his, um, pacifier. Asleep.
10:05am - Resumed packing.
10:30am - Remembered now cold tea and burned crumpets.
10:32am - Scrapped off crumpets and choked them down with the iced tea while catching up on the newspaper.
10:45am - Young Old awake. Played (i.e. I danced around like a fool, made odd faces, busted out the lip music, poked and prodded him). Sung songs. Listened to the radio.
10:55am - Prepared the laundry.
11:05am - Did the dishes.
11:06am - Young Old decides to cry.
11:07am - Diaper change and music.
11:15am - Organized baby bag, unfolded the stroller and installed a coffee cup holder on said stroller.
11:25am - Diaper change.
11:30am - Warmed up a bottle for Young Old and some pizza for myself. Young Old begins to scream.
11:35am - Fed The Boy. Burped. Vomited. Back rub.
11:50am - Diaper change. Bundled Young Old up.
12:00pm - Snuggled with Young Old on the bed while he fussed grumpily from the previous day's vaccine shot.
12:18pm - Young Old asleep.
12:20pm - Got ready for the day's excursion.
12:35pm - Swooped up Young Old, put him in the stroller, draped with bottle bag, and baby bag. I carried backpack full of books, and black plastic bag of clothes to sell. Out the door.
12:45am - Hit up the Post Office.
1:00pm - Boarded the train towards downtown.
1:20pm - Stopped by Red Light Clothing to sell off the bag of clothes. Apparently Mama K and I aren't hip enough, seeing as they didn't take a single item. Punk music woke up Young Old, but in a good way, oi.
1:30pm - Stopped by Buffalo Exchange, who also sneered at the clothes I laid out before them. Threw the whole lot in their donation box to offload some weight.
1:35pm - Stopped by Powell's Books to sell my backpack full of previously read novels. Apparently my good tastes lie more in the literary realm, as they purchased everything I'd offered. Young Old loves the sights and sounds of Powell's. I swear he's making mental lists of books he'd like to read when he learns how to do so.
1:45pm - Stopped at the Ace Hotel's Stumptown Coffee for a latte. Chatted with the barista about being a stay-at-home pops. Young Old back asleep, likely due to the boring hipster noise coming out of the speakers. Wandered around the hotel lobby for a few minutes.
1:55pm - Titos II food cart for tacos al pastor and cidral mundet.
2:15pm - Young Old up and screaming. Strolled over to Pioneer Courthouse Square for a flat surface.
2:20pm - Diaper change.
2:25pm - Fed the little man a bottle.
2:45pm - Hung out and people watched with we both digested.
2:55pm - Paused on our way back to the train to listen to a street drummer. Young Old enthralled.
3:00pm - Caught the train back to the eastside.
3:15pm - Off the train.
3:30pm- Home.
3:45pm - Young Old asleep. Caught up on emails from four months ago.
4:20pm - Mama K home. Young Old awake and smiling.
4:30pm - Diaper change. Changed him out of his vomit encrusted former outfit.
4:40pm - The three of us out the door, squeezing into the car for errands.
4:45pm - Stuck in serious traffic.
4:47pm - Called baby store to ask if they could wait to close up for a few minutes until we arrived.
5:03pm - Arrived at Mother's Nature for a new natural rubber pacifier, a wooden teething ring, and new burp cloths (new parents...make sure you stock up on dozens of these fuckers. You'll use every one of them).
5:15pm - Walked across the street to Piccolina's. Placed a few of Young Old's gently used items on consignment, picked up our credit from previous sales, and purchased a few new cold weather outfits.
6:00pm - Walked to Sub Rosa for a nice dinner with Mama K and the now sleeping Young Old.
6:15pm - Young Old awake. Mama K took him to the car to change and feed him, leaving me with my first bit of alone time since waking up.
6:30pm - Glanced outside to see Mama K walking back towards the restaurant holding a screaming baby.
6:35pm - All of us back inside. Fed Mama K food while she continued to comfort Young Old.
6:37pm - Young Old screaming. My turn to take him outside. Walked around the block a time or two.
6:42pm - Back inside. Briefly nibbled now-cold food.
6:43pm - Young Old screaming. Check please!
6:50pm - Back in the car to head home.
7:05pm - Stopped by Goodwill to make a donation drop off.
7:07pm - Home sweet home.
7:10pm - Mama K changed Young Old's drawers, while I unloaded the car and cleaned up a bit.
7:20pm - Young Old playtime.
7:50pm - Mama K titty fed the Guppy. I continued to pack up our belongings.
8:10pm - Mama K tackled the dishes. I gave Frisco the Neglected Cat dinner and some much needed playtime.
8:17pm - Young Old screaming. Took him from Mama K to rock and soothe him.
8:26pm - Saw that I never got the laundry in. Mama K took over and finally got Young Old to sleep. Started the laundry.
8:45pm - Read Mama K her emails while she prepared for work the next day.
9:15pm - Sat on the couch with Mama K, ate ice cream sandwiches, and did nothing.
9:25pm - Mama K to bed.
9:30pm - Laundry.
9:40pm - Wrote the day's From Old to Young blog entry.
10:20pm - Began writing a submission for a local Portland storybook.
11:00pm - Finished up the laundry.
11:10pm - Sat down to watch Le Boucher.
11:12pm - Mama K yelled down to me that Young Old was awake.
11:13pm - Began warming up a bottle. Diaper change.
11:20pm - Fed Young Old. Burped. Vomited. Wiped clean (-ish).
11:50pm - Laid Young Old down on the couch. Young Old asleep.
12:00am - Gave up on watching a movie. Resumed packing.
12:40am - Young Old up and fussy. Rocked and snuggled him to sleep.
12:45am - Watched a bit of Oregon Public Broadcasting.
2:00am - Young Old up. Diaper change. Put him back to sleep.
2:15am - Finally dragged my tired ass into bed and did the same.
(Several diaper changes followed. Up again at 7:00am the next morning for another day of fun.)

No matter what you read, or the advice people give you, nothing, nothing, prepares you for the sheer amount of work involved in caring for a baby. It's absolutely worth it, but prepare to be more tired to the very core of your being than you could previously possibly imagine.

Nap time for Daddy.